S. Buehrer

A twenty-something biomedical Illusrator.
This blog is a collection of what I do, and what I like.
It’s growler night! #toledo #glass city #beer

It’s growler night! #toledo #glass city #beer

mr-cappadocia asked: So why does Cracked CONSTANTLY push Feminist propaganda so hard? And let's not bullshit ourselves. You do. Just yesterday you published five articles. Two specifically referenced either Feminism or Feminist backed statistics. Conversely whenever you cover anything related to the opposition you not only mislead about their views... you straight up fucking lie about them and people let you get away with it because you're a "humor magazine". So I'm wondering why you propagandize *so hard*. Why?

kat-man-dee:

cracked:

codyjohnston:

thisdanobrien:

hereinidaho:

Because we’re true believers! 

Let me take this moment to say how Cracked could have gone another direction 7 or 8 years ago, a more Maximy, Booby Gallery of the Day direction if not for the steadfast resistance of David Wong and Jack O’Brien. I barely acknowledge the side that opposes feminism, but Wong goes out of his way to understand people who are mad at feminists, and he writes about those views with more sensitivity and understanding that I could ever muster. 

To sum up: We don’t have an explicit agenda but if one comes across, It’s not one I’m ashamed of. 

Kristi is a liar. I remember the meeting where the Cracked brain trust sat down and was like “From now on let’s occasionally post articles that either directly or conspiratorially tangentially support equal rights for women so we can accomplish our ultimate end goal: Hack into the penis of every man and make it a smaller penis, or a penis that is otherwise laughable for a different reason upon which we all agree. It almost sounds TOO easy,” Jack said, as he (via the mainframe) hacked a young Robert Brockway’s penis. “I think my wife deserves my respect,” the now-neutered Brockway yelped.

#LaughablePenisRights

#NotAllLaughablePenises

And then we built a Tumblr (operational) and a dick-shrinkin’ beam (in prototype) to further that twisted agenda, without ever stopping to write thoughtful, empathetic articles (that still bring the jokes) like this.

Cracked, thank you.

Just stop publishing those shitty sexist photoplasty submissions.

I don’t see the response from sorenbowie in this chain but it was a beautiful argument from a beautiful man.

leonerdnimoy:

whowasntthere:

lunulata:

emperor-shatterfingers:

hyenas, terrifying and excellently organized predators of the savannah

also surprisingly docile and like neck scritches and have a tail chasing compulsion

if you don’t think hyenas are great then you’re objectively wrong

Aaaahhh, I love hyenas. :D

Hyenas: Always getting a bad rap because lions are jerks. Lions actually steal from hyenas most of the time because hyenas are the better predators — but they’re also very skittish when faced with a giant pride of cats. Adorable babies!

Okay, lemme tell you about spotted hyenas, aka the BAMFiest BAMFs in the animal kingdom.

  1. Their societies are entirely female-dominated. Female hyenas are larger and stronger than males and have higher social status in clan hierarchy - even the lowest-ranking female in a hyena clan is higher up the social ladder than the highest-ranking male. They’re basically the Amazons of the animal world. The females even have false penis-like appendages (which are essentially large clitorises), which led the ancient Greeks to think that hyenas were hermaphrodites. Because fuck your narrow human perceptions of sex and gender roles, that’s why.
  2. They are considered the dominant predators of the African savannah, despite not being the largest or strongest, because they are the most successful hunters. Their hunting success rate is estimated to be about 70-80%, meaning that they catch about 70-80% of prey they pursue - a freakishly high statistic (to compare, the success rate of lions and wolves is about 20-30%). They also scavenge much less than lions do, as whowasntthere said, and are incredibly adaptable and opportunistic predators, meaning that they are also the most common and widespread of the large African carnivores. That’s not too bad for an animal typecast as a lazy scavenger.
  3. Their jaws are some of the strongest in the animal kingdom, stronger than those of lions, tigers, wolves or perhaps bears, and can crush elephant and giraffe bones; hyenas are also able to digest all bone matter. Don’t tell me that’s not metal as fuck.
  4. Despite looking like dogs, they are not part of the dog family and are actually more closely related to cats. Because fuck your logic. Nature does what it wants.
  5. They are incredibly intelligent. They are easily as intelligent as primates and some scientists claim that their intelligence may even rival that of the great apes, which would make them among the most intelligent animals in the world. Hyenas even outperform chimpanzees on some tests, which is pretty damn awesome, considering that chimpanzees are our closest relatives and all.

So yeah, basically hyenas are awesome and badass as well as truly fascinating animals and if you don’t have at least a bit of respect for them you’re wrong.

(Source: a-humble-hyena, via satteredhunter)

Describe me

using resume-style words. It’s application season.

Trying to propagate some rosemary.

I have no idea what I’m doing.

Trying to propagate some rosemary.

I have no idea what I’m doing.